Chapter Thirty-one

November 14, 2014  | Charlotte Chronicles  | (0)

Welcome to final episodes in the Charlotte Chronicles.

It’s been a long and wonderful journey. I’m sad to see it end.

The good news is Charlotte is currently with an editor getting a final polish and she’ll go on sale at all your favorite retailers on December 11, 2014. Price TBD. You can add the book to your goodreads shelf here.

Charlotte

Returning to the office after a week away is intimidating. The paperwork has piled up so high in my inbox so full it makes me never want to leave again.

“Free agency has started in basketball and you have three new prospects. Antonio Spence has called twice,” Lainey announces striding into my office with her tablet. “And Tuvane Richards got picked off the wire by the Wildcats.”

“Remind me never to go away again.” Tuvane got traded two years ago to the North Carolina Cougars and had me handle the move. In the meantime he’s gotten married. Somewhere on the shelf is his notebook.

“You need to hire more people,” Lainey says.

“At least two.” I spot it Tuvane’s notebook on the bottom right in all its blue and orange glory. Thank goodness for team colors. It’s about the only way I can keep everything straight. “I’m not sure I can even afford two at this point.”

I’ve only been officially in business for three years and while the books are in the black, hiring two more people and opening another office is an expansion I’m not prepared for.

“Are you really leaving? Nick mentioned something last night.”

“Did you get your babysitter issue worked out?”

“Nice tactic,” Lainey says with asperity. “Trying to avoid my question with an uncomfortable one of your own.”

I smooth my hand over the cool surface of my walnut desk that my parents gave me when I opened my office here in Dallas. “Honestly the idea of moving is overwhelming. I don’t know anyone in San Diego. All of my friends are here. My business is here. My family is in Chicago. Half the time that I would be in San Diego, Nathan would be gone on some secret mission he can’t speak of. But if I want to spend any time at all with him, I have to be on the West Coast because when he is not on a mission he would be in San Diego training.”

“And there’s no chance that he would leave the service to do something else?”

I give her a tiny shrug which probably doesn’t convey the full amount of helplessness that I feel. “He said he’d quit but I don’t think he would be able to. Even after telling me he would leave and come with me to Dallas, he kept talking as if we would be living in San Diego. It’s as if his brain wouldn’t accept the words he said to me. It’s a calling for him so I don’t want to be living here five years from now with him resentful that he left.”

Lainey makes a face. “I get that you love him and have forever, but this is a shitty dilemma you are in.”

“There is no dilemma. The trouble is accepting the right decision.” I try to smile but fail. “Now cheer me up with some gossip. What happened last night?”

She shrugs as if Nick coming over to play house is no big deal. “We played with Cassidy until she fell asleep. That girl loves him so much.”

“He’s a good guy, Lainey,” I say for what seems like the hundrendth time and for the hundredth time, her nose scrunches up as if something stinks in the room.

“In two hours that he was at the house, his phone rang the more times than a cash register on Black Friday.”

“He is the starting quarterback for one of the most watched football teams in the country. He’s rich, attractive, and has the body of a god. Of course his phone was ringing, but it doesn’t sound like he answered it.”

“Nick is a great guy to you because for all intents and purposes you’re his sister. To the rest of the female population, he is walking heartbreak.”

This is a familiar and old and boring argument so I abandon it. No one is going to convince Lainey that the bogeyman in the closet is not a helmet wearing, pigskin carrying football player.

“Let’s hire a manager for the bar. You can run this office full-time with Reese. I’ll cover all the West Coast teams. You and Reese cover the south and Midwest. We’ll hire someone to cover the East Coast.”

“I’ll put post an ad.” She makes a note on her tablet. At the doorway, she turns back. “I’m going to visit as much as I can. You’re not leaving your old friends; you’re making new ones.”

“I know.” But it’s sure nice hearing it.

The next phone call is to my parents. It’s one that I’ve been putting off but Nathan and I both agreed that they would need to be told today.

“Charlotte!” My father answers and his deep voice is full of affection. No matter the distance or the time, I am secure in my parent’s love. It is not the move I fear, I realize, but the newness of Nate and my reconnection.

“Hey daddy, when was the last time we saw each other?”

“Father’s Day,” he replies promptly. “You brought your friend that Nick has a hankering for and her sweet little girl. We all went up to the North Shore and had a picnic out on the beach.”

All but Nate, but he’s not been part of our “all” for a long time.

“That was too long ago.”

“Your mama and I can be on a plane tomorrow if you’re missing us. Besides your mama’s got some news for you.”

His happiness tells me it’s good news. “What is it?”

“She and Noah are selling out their interests in the fund.”

I’m glad I’m sitting down. Dad sold out all his construction interests shortly after I finished treatment in Switzerland. He didn’t want me to be by myself and he wasn’t interested in working like a dog anymore, as he put it. I loved having him with me and it made my loneliness bearable when Nick went to college and Nate went AWOL on me. But mom motored on, almost as if she was in a contest with Noah to see who could make more money.

“She’s tired of it and wants to travel. Noah was relieved. He said he’s been trying to convince her to chuck it all into the river for years now.” Dad laughs. I can see him sitting in the library in the penthouse, a low boy full of some expensive liquor and his feet up on a cowhide hassock. His face is normally tanned and the blonde hair I’ve inherited is the color of wheat. He says I’m full of my mother’s stock except for my blue eyes and blonde hair which I inherited from him.

“I’m excited for you,” I say truthfully and then wonder if they’d come out to San Diego for a few months to help with my transition.

“I can tell by your voice that your got something on your mind,” he rumbles.

“Where is mom?” I don’t want to divulge the news twice.

“In the office. Want me to call her?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a series of clicks and then I hear my mom’s strong voice. “Your father says you have news.”

“Apparently you do as well. I didn’t know you were thinking of retiring.”

“It’s not so much as retiring as changing our scenery.”

“I assume this means hotels and airlines because you once said that camping was for people who hated life.”

“The outdoors and I don’t get along.”

That’s an understatement. Mom’s idea of enjoying the outdoors is laying on a lounge chair next to a pool with a big hat shading her skin from the sun. “I’m sure Daddy appreciates the sacrifice you are making.”

He rumbles his amused agreement. “You’re welcome to come with us.”

“I was gone this week and when I returned I found that my work was having babies faster than hamsters so as much as I might like the idea of a vacation, I get enough traveling in the form of my job.”

“The invitation is always open. We’ll send you our itinerary and if you find a break in your schedule, hop on a plane and we’ll take care of the rest. Now what’s so important that we are conferencing together?”

My delay tactics have run out. I don’t have a good way to break the news so I just blurt it out. “Nate asked me to marry him and I said yes.”

There was long silence on the other end of the line. So long that I wondered if they had hung up on me or if the connection dropped. “Hello?”

When I do hear a voice, it’s my Daddy’s. “We’re still here darling. We’re trying to wrap our heads around the bomb that you dropped.”

“I hope you’re happy for me.” My free hand is clenched so tight around the metal pen, I’m certain I’m going to bend it in half.

Mom clears her throat. “I think the question that we need answer is are you happy? This came out of nowhere. I didn’t even realize you had any contact with Nathan in years.”

“I was in San Diego getting a player situated and I had to buy a gift at Tiffany’s for his wife because she wasn’t happy about the move. In the weirdest coincidence, I saw Nate in the store. I admit that for a while I had convinced myself that it didn’t matter that Nathan didn’t love me like I loved him. I thought I’d find someone else, but there wasn’t anyone for me.” My voice is cracking as I relive the anguish of the moment when I believed Nathan was buying a ring for another woman. My parents remain silent. “But as I looked at him through the window I realized I would never, ever love anyone else like I loved him. And something happened to him as well. He’d loved me all along.”

It all sounds terrible as I try to explain it. I wind down and mom asks me the question that’s been preying on my mind.

“Nathan lives in San Diego and you and your business is in Dallas. How is that going to work?”

“Right, so I’m going to move.” I wait, then, with my heart in my throat as I ready myself for the disapproval of the woman whose respect I value more than any other female in my life.

Finally she speaks. “Your daddy and I are so proud of the woman that you have become Charlotte. My first instinct was to protest because he has hurt you so badly. But you are a wise and wonderful woman who is capable of making her own decisions. We support and love you. And should this decision have a negative outcome we will still support you. No matter what you do in life, we know that you are doing your very most to make the right choices.”

I can’t stop the waterworks after that.

Dad interjects. “Sometimes you’re the bug on the windshield and sometimes you the driver of the big truck. That’s life. You’re the driver now. If this is the direction you want to go, and like your mama said, we support you hundred percent. And if you need an expansion loan, your mom has come into some money recently.”

We all laugh a bit until Mom changes the subject.

“When is your next checkup?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll call you right after.”

“Alright, darling girl,” Daddy drawls. No amount of time in the Midwest has totally eradicated his southern upbringing.

•••

“How did it go?” Nate asked me when we meet for dinner. He spent the day with Nick, having received special dispensation to watch practice.

“Better than I thought.” I take a long drink of my beer which causes him to raise an eyebrow. “How about you?”

“Well, someone is planning the wedding already. You better call my mom if you want to have any say in the matter.”

“I think she probably already knows. I may have talked to her once or twice about it.” I say guiltily.

He smiles. “The shore?”

“Yes, a gazebo. Maybe late autumn or early spring.” I’d planned the whole wedding out when I was eighteen and still believed that Nathan would come back to me after a four year stint in the Navy. “Up from where your Dad proposed to your mom.”

He reaches across the table and captures my hand. Pressing a hot kiss in the middle of my palm, he says, “Let’s do it this autumn, Charlotte. Let’s not wait.”

“Okay.” His enthusiasm is contagious. And I want everything else settled. “I’m moving to San Diego. Lainey and Reese are covering the office here and I’m going to take care of all the West Coast athletes. I’m going to hire someone to the East Coast.”

He wipes his mouth and carefully places the napkin beside his plate. “I thought I told you I was quitting.”

“I don’t want that. I’m more mobile than you are and from everything I’ve read and heard, your time as a SEAL is finite. You can’t do this forever and so while you still can, you should.” I continue to eat even as he stares at me. He can pin his unwavering special Navy glare at me, but I’m immune mostly likely because I know he’s done hurting me, both intentionally or unintentionally.

“So you’re up and moving your entire business so you can spend lonely months in San Diego away from your friends and family? No,” he shakes his head resolutely.

“I’m moving the base of my very mobile operation to San Diego to be with my love so that he can properly attend to all of my very demanding needs.” He’s still unconvinced but I can see a glimmer of relief in his eyes. It’s enough that he’s willing to sacrifice it all for me. “When you’re gone, I’ll come back here, sleep in Nick’s guest room and keep him out of trouble.”

“And when I’m there, I promise to see to your every need,” he says. The husky timbre of his words sends a shiver up my spine.

“Are we done here?”

“We’re done having dinner.” He stands and lifts me to my feet. “But the rest of the night has just started.”

•••

Sated, I draw aimless patterns on his chest. It heaves with every labored breath as he tries to calm himself. Nate’s body is a machine, one that he works hard to bring me pleasure. There’s something incredibly sexy about watching his big chest rise and fall in a rapid, uneven cadence. I did that.

His composure and iron will is somewhere under the bedcovers that lie in a haphazard pile at the end of the bed and in these moments, in the afterglow, his power is banked and his aggression is tamed.

“What’s the story behind your tattoos?” I ask. The one on his arm is a skull covered by a medieval helmet. Out of the helmet are two curling horns that wrap around the bicep.

He turns his head slightly and lifts his shoulder to eye the one I’m pointing to. “Mostly drunken stupidness.”

“I thought that was illegal to get a tattoo while under the influence?” The tattoo is still dark but I can tell it’s not one of his newest ones. There’s a faded, subdued quality to the ink.

“Only in the US. I got this one in Finland. It’s the Norse god, Hödr, a warrior who was tricked into killing his brother. He was exiled and Odin had another son, sired for the sole purpose of killing Hödr.”

“That’s morbid.”

“I’ve not been in a good place for a long time,” he admits softly.

I gather him in my arms, pressing his face against my breast and wrapping my legs around him as if I could absorb his grief and his past sadness. “The one on your back is beautiful.”

“The dragon?”

“It looks like the dragon is chasing something.” The large colored wings are in motion and the neck of the dragon is stretched out. His mouth is open but there’s no fire coming out.

After a long moment, he sighs. “It’s me chasing you. I’m the dragon and you’re…not there. I was going to have a dove put on my opposite shoulder but it never felt right.” He pushes up to look at me, “At least not until now.”

The glint in his eye is one half love and the other half sexual intent. My body protests. “Don’t look at me like that,” I laugh. “I’m too tired and sore.” He smirks, a look of pure unadulterated smugness. I slap his dragon right on the snout. “That’s smarmiest smile I’ve seen you wear.”

He doesn’t even try to hide his smile.“I can’t help it. You just admitted that I wear you out in bed. That’s a point of pride. Smugness is a natural by-product.”

“A natural by-product of good sex is sleep,” I counter.

He disentangles his body and rolls onto his side, tucking me against him. “Then sleep, baby.”